If it seems like self-compassion is hard to come by when you don’t reach your goals, take heart. Luckily, if you’re lacking in the self-care department, it’s a skill you can learn. Research shows a seemingly endless list of the benefits of nurturing yourself…it not only improves your mental and emotional health, but it can also decrease levels of anxiety and depression.

Like anything worthwhile in life, learning the art of soothing takes time and practice. Here are four ways to start significantly boosting your compassion towards yourself:

1. Change Your “I Am”

Self-compassionate people tend to notice when their thoughts are sabotaging their efforts, and then quickly re-tune to a kinder, more gentle approach.
Beginning to love the skin you’re in starts by learning how to teach that inner voice to sing a different tune. Being able to turn from “I am worthless” to “I am valuable,” is one big step towards viewing yourself through a softer lens.

(If you need a little help with changing your “I am,” don’t miss my interview with Dr. Patrick Porter! Click here.)

2. Comfort Your Body and Soul With Warm Soup

Filling your body with a bowl of warm, heathy soup does double-duty. It improves both how you physically feel, while at the same time comforting your soul. My classic garden recipe has a soothing tomato base, and is filled with kale, lentils, leeks, sweet potatoes and more. Click here for the recipe. Plus, this recipe prepares a large batch so you don’t have to spend endless hours in the kitchen this week.

3. Zoom Out

If you’re feeling insecure about your body, don’t waste time breaking down every flaw you see in the mirror. Instead, “zoom out” to take in the big picture – almost like a work of art. And avoid those extremely magnifying mirrors that create a “funhouse” effect. They distort your image and encourage too much self-scrutinizing – and there’s nothing fun about that.

4. Look Out The Window

Between finances, traveling, volunteering, baking, and mile-high to-do lists, it can be easy to fill up with self-doubt and forget about nurturing yourself. Even a quick 1-minute meditation can help release negative thoughts and help you focus on joy.

Next time you’re feeling paralyzed by self-doubt, head to the nearest window, look outside, and breathe for 60 seconds. Let go of your thoughts, and slowly observe each of the sounds around you…the music playing, the dishwasher humming, your family in the next room. Once you tune into these specific sounds, you’ll find that your mind stops racing and you will begin to feel an internal silence and peace.